Show Me

Day 60.

Lately I feel like I’ve been under a second wave of attack, just as I was starting to really find a place of recovery.  I feel like I’m losing ground.  I can picture myself in a dark cellar, finally finding the steps that lead to the small slither of light way up high.  I see myself climbing up in the darkness, unsure of every step, unsure if the stairs will keep going up, if they will truly lead me in the right direction.  And just as I find myself half-way to the top, something, out of nowhere, pushes me backwards, laughing at me as I tumble all the way back to the bottom, now bruised and bloody from the fall.  And it’s hard to get back up when you’ve been so defeated.

As I continue to read in the book of Matthew, I find even John the Baptist went through a low time and had his doubts once he was in prison.  (It is no coincidence that I happened to read that immediately following my first paragraph.  It’s amazing how God opens His Word to us at the right time.)  John actually sent some of his disciples to ask Jesus if He was the One who should come, “or do we look for another?”  John the Baptist?  Really?  Even John the Baptist second-guessed Jesus?  John had prophesied of Jesus before he started His ministry.  John had told his own disciples, “Behold the Lamb of God which taketh away the sin of the world,” when Jesus was passing by.  John baptized Jesus.  And of Jesus he said, “I saw the Spirit descending from heaven like a dove, and it abode upon him.  And I knew him not: but he that sent me to baptize with water, the same said unto me, Upon whom thou shalt see the Spirit descending, and remaining on him, the same is he which baptizeth with the Holy Ghost.  And I saw, and bare record that this is the Son of God.”  Then, when John and Jesus were standing there, “lo, the heavens were opened unto him, and he saw the Spirit of God descending like a dove, and lighting upon him: And lo a voice from heaven, saying, This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased.”  It was the audible voice of God!  How much clearer can it be, John?  And yet, here he is, maybe a couple of years later, thrown into prison, discouraged, confused, and questioning everything he knows.  “Art thou he that should come, or do we look for another?”  Oh, how I identify with John in these darkest moments.

So, what does Jesus say?  He could have rebuked John, “Oh ye of little faith.”  After all, John, more than anybody should have known who Jesus was.   Jesus could have given John a simple, “Yes,” and expected John to just take His word for it.  He could have proved Himself by breaking John out of prison.  He was certainly able to do so.  But no, Jesus does none of these things.  Instead, Jesus answers and says, “Go and shew John again those things which ye do hear and see: The blind receive their sight, and the lame walk, the lepers are cleansed, and the deaf hear, the dead are raised up, and the poor have the gospel preached to them.  And blessed is he, whosoever shall not be offended in me.”  Jesus shows John who He is; He proves Himself by what He’s done.

These are the things that minister to my heart, that give me the strength to get up and start climbing again.  I can recount the amazing things that God has already done in my life, miracle after miracle, blessing after blessing, heaps upon heaps, line upon line, precept upon precept.  Yes, I know who Jesus is.  Just as John knew Him by His works on earth, I know Him by the work He’s done in me.  So, I’m putting one foot in front of the other again, trusting in my Savior and my God.  I cannot allow setbacks to keep me down.  Jesus has proved Himself again and again and I know that He is faithful.  I have tested and tried Him, and I’ve never been disappointed.