Day 58.
I’ve kind of been avoiding blogging about the clinical side of this journey because it’s a topic that can make some people uncomfortable. Somehow, when we bring up “clinical depression,” we move from the realm of what is known and accepted to something less easy to define and not as socially palatable. And yet, here I am, unable to explain it away, exhibiting the symptoms, and researching the treatments.
Like it or not, the illness is very real and the effects of it are my constant companions these 58 days. Though it may not be noticeable to the uninformed passer-by, I am currently experiencing moderate to severe depression. This particular episode was brought on by overwhelming stress. I’m not certain what the exact straw that broke the camel’s back was, but it was followed by a nervous breakdown and a spiral into major depression that made me feel like I was dying. Yeah…that was a rough month.
But, by the grace of God, there is hope for recovery (I say recovery instead of cure). Today I am managing my depression naturally. This means that it will take longer for my symptoms to dissipate, but as I continue to move forward, a little at a time, allowing for bad days and rejoicing in good days, I will recover and become whole again.
Today I was reading in Matthew and story after story was about how Jesus healed the sick and then praised their faith. I feel like the woman with an “issue of blood” who reached out to touch Jesus’ garment as He passed by in the crowd. She believed He could heal her if she could only touch Him. I keep believing there is healing for me as I move forward in faith. Though I’m not sure when, I know I will be made whole once again. I will recover.
For more information about clinical depression, the following website is very helpful. Also, if you google it, you can find a variety of sites that explain the chemical imbalance that causes clinical depression.
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