Today was hard. But God is good. I'm not going to elaborate much on what made the day hard, just another wrench in the healing gears, I suppose. Let's just say that getting a flat tire was the least of my problems today.
Tonight, I did receive some discouraging/encouraging counsel, though. The feeling inside me is not just going to burst like a balloon inside my chest when I make that big discovery about what's holding me captive. I have a wounded soul. And just like any other wound, it will take time to heal. This was discouraging in the fact that I'm not just going to snap out of it when I figure out all the answers. But encouraging because there's no way for me to know all the answers. The more I seek out answers, the more confused I become. I simply have to keep stepping upward even though I can't see the path in front of me. There will be more bad days, but my hope is that they get fewer and farther between and eventually become interspersed with good days. Yes, it feels like it might be hope, shining through on the darkest day.
Tonight's post is short because, to be honest, I'm very tired. Tired of struggling to get through the day, tired of crying, tired of grieving, tired all the way down to my bones. But there will be a day when my cup will be filled to overflowing. Maybe not tomorrow, maybe not the next day, maybe not in the foreseeable future. But there will be a day. And I am looking forward to it.
No comments:
Post a Comment